Who Am I?
A loyal passionately emotional creative realist that wants to believe in Magic and is willing to sacrifice reality for a dream. Someone who has endured a lifetime of circumstance and choice. Always trying to believe there is a happy ending to everything. I am strong and I am weak. I am wise and foolish. Rational and irrational… intuitive and delusional… Hopefully in despair. Always wanting success and afraid to fail. Resolved in my defeats. frustrated by that which I chose not to believe. Able to relinquish control but taunted by that which I cannot. A hopeless romantic saddened by love lost yet believing in its power to overcome all obstacles.
What do I want.
I want to love and be loved. Create, inspire and console. Stability and spontaneity. To Trust and to be trusted. To bask in the unconditional devotion of love. To be cherished and adored for my heart. Forgiven for my humanity. Always striving to become someone others will look to and say He was a good man. One who would give the shirt off his back and die to protect the ones he loves.
What do I lack?
Patience. A withstanding ability to rise out of emotional fear and maintain perspective. A sustaining belief in me. The energy to endure anymore emotional tragedy. A place to call home. A sense of peace in the midst of chaos. Family.
What can I do to find what I lack.
Wake up each day and fight the fear with hope. Balance the past with the present and believe in a future where true love will find my heart, embrace it comfort it. Give until you have nothing left to give then want for nothing. Let go of that which cannot be held. Love with a heart that expects nothing in return. Accept that which is beyond your reach. Walk through new doors with vision and faith that what is good and edifying will be waiting. What is not for the goodness of the soul is left behind.
What do I believe
I believe in a power that is beyond human comprehension. I believe in truth I believe in triumph . I believe in faith and hope I believe love is only felt in the measure it is given. I believe hate is evil. I believe trust is fragile. I believe there is good and there is evil. I believe the purpose of each is to prove the strength of the other. I believe good brings peace I believe evil brings a death yet to realize. I believe the human mind is a dynamic complexity of primal intuitions of life and a mixture of all its experience. I believe we can believe anything we chose and that Devine truth is the only power that can define what is fact and what is fiction.
Saul Hardley- The Beauty in Everything 