Something About Christmas

A beautiful time of the year to Love.

Whether falling or being or sharing or giving this is a season when love is felt in so many ways.

This is a song just about that. Written to for and about my beautiful wife, Something About Christmas is a gift from above. A gift to share in this season of sharing!

The Purpose of Truth

A lie cannot exist if there is no truth

Truth is the foundation of all that is real

All that is peace

All that is eternal

Truth has no need for lies

if there is no porpoise in life

Life beyond our mortal adventure

A chosen adventure of returning to the truth we are.

Veiled from this existence

the answers to questions

that only are asked

because our bodies breath and sleep and eat and die

they enter our consciousness

unconsciously and seek the whispers of peace that are truth.

Truth is power it is light it is undeniable. To be filled with truth is what the love of our father and mother in the heaven crave for us to seek, feel and be.

For with that comes power in this world to return to them in peace and joy.

Tattered by the journey, emboldened by our struggles, edified by the wisdom we’ve gained, our souls rejoice in the veil being lifted and the balance of truth finds grace in our choices in life.

The purpose of truth returns to our souls. The purpose of untruths becomes realized in its purpose, lies are exposed as an energy of deception, defined with a purpose to rob our father and mother of our loving return to innocence

Letter from My Wife

A letter from Noelle.

I am Jeff, My Wife is Noelle and John is my brother in law.

If there is beauty in everything there is ugliness also. If the is happiness in the world there is sorrow. If the are questions there are answers if the unknown is embraced there is Hope.


This is something I just wrote. I don’t know who I’m gonna share it with. I love you. I’m sorry. 

Cutting Off My Arm


John and Jeff and I just watched the movie, 127 Hours. John had this revelation afterward, that he shared with us, that it’s as if everyone faces the point in their life in which they must face a crucial decision to either stop living, or cut off their own arm in order to follow their unique destiny. Everyone has an “arm” to cut off. This arm is an addiction to an illusion, something you think you can’t live without, but is actually the thing that is holding you back from the life you’re truly meant to live.

 I’ve had a year of sinking deeper and deeper into depression and death of my true self, to the point where I am finally ready to face the truth that I know what my “arm” is that I must now cut off. I’m ready to see the thing I must face, the part of me that I must surrender in order to follow my true desires and destiny. The arm that I must cut off, is my desire for one man. One MAN to take care of me, to provide for me emotionally and financially, to be my home, to be my provider and protector and safety in this world, and to be everything I need. This dream that has become a destructive pattern, has kept me from my true self. I have infantilized myself, over and over, by attaching to men in marriage in order to fulfill a role that I was meant and designed to fulfill for myself.  

Jeff Page has come into my life to be the catalyst for freedom. He has offered me unconditional love and cosmic connection. We have grown together in ways that I never dreamed I could grow. We have bonded deeply, and we have journeyed together both in the dark and the light. There is so much love here. And there is also addiction and codependency. I have attached myself to him in my usual pattern, in ways that keep me from being able to be myself. I have hurt him deeply through this pattern and cycle that began long before him. We have struggled together, as we have tried in exhausted futility to build a healthy relationship that, at its foundation, is cracked and overgrown with suffocating weeds.

What now? I can’t think about what the future holds for me and Jeff. I simply have to let him go, as well as let go of the illusional dream of thinking that I am meant to have a man to take care of all my needs. Whatever true connection Jeff and I have, whatever possibility for the future, can not be realized without me facing the truth in myself of this addiction.  I want to learn how to take care of myself. To provide for all my needs, emotionally and financially.


I am asking for prayer, for this is the most scary, most painful thing I can think of. But I have literally come to the point that Aron Ralston came to: either die, or cut off the thing you think you can’t live without, in order to truly live. I don’t even know how to do this. But I know that each moment will reveal itself.  I trust in the Love that brought me to this earth, and the Love that will continue to guide me and support me, the Love that I Am. Please pray for both me and Jeff during this extremely painful and scary time. 


What is Failure?











A lack of effort.

A circumstance.

An opportunity?

Always a…

New beginning.

New hope.

A state of mind in a moment!

With failure come closure, the opening of the mind to live and learn and try again.

What is the Look of Love?

What is the Look of Love?

It is a glance of the soul from the eyes of the heart.

It is the vision of peace.

It is the whisper of serenity!

It is the embrace of strength.

It is the belief in forever.

It is clear in the clouds.

It dreams in your sleep.

It shines through the darkness.

It never fades.

It is precious!

It is beautiful.

It is Devine.



What harbors the power of deception.






What feeds the power of deception.







What dies in the grasp of deception





What separates Truth from Deception

The peaceful calm whispers of the soul that echo above the laughs, smiles and encouragement of falsehood.


What is innocence?























Innocence is a gift of life, a challenge to maintain and a treasure worth saving.

The Eyes that Look Down

The eyes that look down

Have nothing to say

That offers the quench

Of your thirst day to day

While toiling inside

They turn and won’t see

The door is wide open

For evil to breathe

Touched by the darkness

Love Planted a seed

The harvest of which

left you in need

Digging in deeper

The roots of a plan

Sown in your heart

By the hands of god’s man

Innocence captured

Taken so sweet

The fruit of deception

Falls at your feet

A hunger within

The need of your soul

Tasted but once still

Takes its toll

Seeking the comfort

In the face you adore

That hides behind promise

Locked behind doors

You look up to eyes

The eyes that look down

Hoping and waiting

To be held in your frown

Constantly dying

Your heart beat survives

Reaching for something

To lift you up

to the skies

Where all who can see you

Where all can’t deny

The courage the wisdom

The strength of your shine.

Yet always so distant

Still pounding the ground

You search to be seen

In the eyes that look down


Give me a place in the world to call home.

Where my heart and my soul rest not alone.

Filled with light of the smile of love

Graced with the peace that falls from above

Scatter my thoughts my hopes and my dreams

Onto the floors and the bed where I sleep

Hang on the walls the stories of life

The pictures of moments the triumphs the strifes

Open the door to all who seek warmth Shelter their fears from all of life’s storms

Let the fire inside burn through the night and whisper good morning at each new day’s light

Tend to the windows so that all can be seen

Each sunset and sunrise and all in between.

Harbor the feeling of hope and goodwill such that each sorrow has space just to feel

Safe in the moments of all that is real home is the heart where the soul comes to heal.