There is beauty in Everything when you choose to see it
A beautiful time of the year to Love.
Whether falling or being or sharing or giving this is a season when love is felt in so many ways.
This is a song just about that. Written to for and about my beautiful wife, Something About Christmas is a gift from above. A gift to share in this season of sharing!
A lie cannot exist if there is no truth
Truth is the foundation of all that is real
All that is peace
All that is eternal
Truth has no need for lies
if there is no porpoise in life
Life beyond our mortal adventure
A chosen adventure of returning to the truth we are.
Veiled from this existence
the answers to questions
that only are asked
because our bodies breath and sleep and eat and die
they enter our consciousness
unconsciously and seek the whispers of peace that are truth.
Truth is power it is light it is undeniable. To be filled with truth is what the love of our father and mother in the heaven crave for us to seek, feel and be.
For with that comes power in this world to return to them in peace and joy.
Tattered by the journey, emboldened by our struggles, edified by the wisdom we’ve gained, our souls rejoice in the veil being lifted and the balance of truth finds grace in our choices in life.
The purpose of truth returns to our souls. The purpose of untruths becomes realized in its purpose, lies are exposed as an energy of deception, defined with a purpose to rob our father and mother of our loving return to innocence
A letter from Noelle.
I am Jeff, My Wife is Noelle and John is my brother in law.
If there is beauty in everything there is ugliness also. If the is happiness in the world there is sorrow. If the are questions there are answers if the unknown is embraced there is Hope.
Jeff,
This is something I just wrote. I don’t know who I’m gonna share it with. I love you. I’m sorry.
Cutting Off My Arm
John and Jeff and I just watched the movie, 127 Hours. John had this revelation afterward, that he shared with us, that it’s as if everyone faces the point in their life in which they must face a crucial decision to either stop living, or cut off their own arm in order to follow their unique destiny. Everyone has an “arm” to cut off. This arm is an addiction to an illusion, something you think you can’t live without, but is actually the thing that is holding you back from the life you’re truly meant to live.
I’ve had a year of sinking deeper and deeper into depression and death of my true self, to the point where I am finally ready to face the truth that I know what my “arm” is that I must now cut off. I’m ready to see the thing I must face, the part of me that I must surrender in order to follow my true desires and destiny. The arm that I must cut off, is my desire for one man. One MAN to take care of me, to provide for me emotionally and financially, to be my home, to be my provider and protector and safety in this world, and to be everything I need. This dream that has become a destructive pattern, has kept me from my true self. I have infantilized myself, over and over, by attaching to men in marriage in order to fulfill a role that I was meant and designed to fulfill for myself.
Jeff Page has come into my life to be the catalyst for freedom. He has offered me unconditional love and cosmic connection. We have grown together in ways that I never dreamed I could grow. We have bonded deeply, and we have journeyed together both in the dark and the light. There is so much love here. And there is also addiction and codependency. I have attached myself to him in my usual pattern, in ways that keep me from being able to be myself. I have hurt him deeply through this pattern and cycle that began long before him. We have struggled together, as we have tried in exhausted futility to build a healthy relationship that, at its foundation, is cracked and overgrown with suffocating weeds.
What now? I can’t think about what the future holds for me and Jeff. I simply have to let him go, as well as let go of the illusional dream of thinking that I am meant to have a man to take care of all my needs. Whatever true connection Jeff and I have, whatever possibility for the future, can not be realized without me facing the truth in myself of this addiction. I want to learn how to take care of myself. To provide for all my needs, emotionally and financially.
I am asking for prayer, for this is the most scary, most painful thing I can think of. But I have literally come to the point that Aron Ralston came to: either die, or cut off the thing you think you can’t live without, in order to truly live. I don’t even know how to do this. But I know that each moment will reveal itself. I trust in the Love that brought me to this earth, and the Love that will continue to guide me and support me, the Love that I Am. Please pray for both me and Jeff during this extremely painful and scary time.
What is Failure?
Defeat?
Loss?
Condemnation
Surrender?
Compromise?
Sacrifice?
Perspective….
Choice?
Resolve…
Maybe…
A lack of effort.
A circumstance.
An opportunity?
Always a…
New beginning.
New hope.
A state of mind in a moment!
With failure come closure, the opening of the mind to live and learn and try again.
What is the Look of Love?
It is a glance of the soul from the eyes of the heart.
It is the vision of peace.
It is the whisper of serenity!
It is the embrace of strength.
It is the belief in forever.
It is clear in the clouds.
It dreams in your sleep.
It shines through the darkness.
It never fades.
It is precious!
It is beautiful.
It is Devine.
Deception.
What harbors the power of deception.
Hope
Fear
Love
Pain
Sorrow
What feeds the power of deception.
Knowledge
Experience
Failure
Pleasure
Anger
Laughter
What dies in the grasp of deception
Innocence
Virtue
Peace
Wisdom
What separates Truth from Deception
The peaceful calm whispers of the soul that echo above the laughs, smiles and encouragement of falsehood.
What is innocence?
Divine
Vulnerable
Fragile
Precious
Cherished
Tempted
Stolen
Absolute
Craved
Peace
Love
Joy
Hope
Sorrow
Restored
Protected
Denied
Rewarded
Diminished
Attacked
Coveted
Sublime
Innocence is a gift of life, a challenge to maintain and a treasure worth saving.
The eyes that look down
Have nothing to say
That offers the quench
Of your thirst day to day
While toiling inside
They turn and won’t see
The door is wide open
For evil to breathe
Touched by the darkness
Love Planted a seed
The harvest of which
left you in need
Digging in deeper
The roots of a plan
Sown in your heart
By the hands of god’s man
Innocence captured
Taken so sweet
The fruit of deception
Falls at your feet
A hunger within
The need of your soul
Tasted but once still
Takes its toll
Seeking the comfort
In the face you adore
That hides behind promise
Locked behind doors
You look up to eyes
The eyes that look down
Hoping and waiting
To be held in your frown
Constantly dying
Your heart beat survives
Reaching for something
To lift you up
to the skies
Where all who can see you
Where all can’t deny
The courage the wisdom
The strength of your shine.
Yet always so distant
Still pounding the ground
You search to be seen
In the eyes that look down
Give me a place in the world to call home.
Where my heart and my soul rest not alone.
Filled with light of the smile of love
Graced with the peace that falls from above
Scatter my thoughts my hopes and my dreams
Onto the floors and the bed where I sleep
Hang on the walls the stories of life
The pictures of moments the triumphs the strifes
Open the door to all who seek warmth Shelter their fears from all of life’s storms
Let the fire inside burn through the night and whisper good morning at each new day’s light
Tend to the windows so that all can be seen
Each sunset and sunrise and all in between.
Harbor the feeling of hope and goodwill such that each sorrow has space just to feel
Safe in the moments of all that is real home is the heart where the soul comes to heal.
Saul Hardley- The Beauty in Everything 